Dec 02 2014 : The Times of India (Delhi)
Deadly duplication
Bikram Vohra
|
The great Indian paper chase would melt even the Don like ice cream in the sun
Swift code, Micr number, IFSC number, postal address and a letter from the governor attesting to your character before you can even pay your taxes. India's love affair with the paper chase continues unabated and sometimes you wonder how it all gets done and where is the need for so much duplication.You are watching this movie and this Bruce Willis type guy says in a Don Corleone voice, “Get twenty million transferred now to my other account.“ There is a whirr sound and zipadoodee, the 20 mil has gone to where the Don wanted it to go. No one wants to take him on, right, like who needs a horse's head in the bed. Imagine Bruce `the don' Willis living here and going through the procedures as they are.
I want to move five million to my offshore account now, do it. Certainly Sir, but first i need some details, what is your Micr number? What did you say? Your Micr number and your Aadhaar card number and your PAN card number and also the swift code for the bank.
Do you know who i am? Yessir but rules are rules, we cannot change them for anyone and oh please, we also need your bank's IFSC number. I practically own the bank. Sir is joking. No, i am not, i also destroy people for breakfast. We are a nationalised bank, Sir, you cannot own it. Sound of gnashing teeth.
...And we cannot transfer money without the Swift code, RBI rules, Sir. But i need the money transferred now, this moment, like they show in the movies. Move it. Pronto. Like yesterday.
We cannot do that, Sir, we are bound by rules and we also need to inform you Sir that we have a new offer for valued clients, if you invest in our `Savdhan' scheme you will get 7.5% annual interest and it is tax free and you get a platinum credit card and dinner for four in a five star restaurant but alcohol beverages are separate... There is a sobbing sound from the other side. Mr Willis is melting like ice cream in the sun.
And we also have a holiday home option where you engage in time sharing...Stop,stop, stop... How long will it take to get my money? Have you filled in form B22 and attached a copy of your returns plus two copies of an affidavit signed by a gazetted officer showing you are a citizen of the country and four photos with a white background?
Over the line there is a sound of a pistol shot. The don is dead. Do you blame Mr Willis?
I want to move five million to my offshore account now, do it. Certainly Sir, but first i need some details, what is your Micr number? What did you say? Your Micr number and your Aadhaar card number and your PAN card number and also the swift code for the bank.
Do you know who i am? Yessir but rules are rules, we cannot change them for anyone and oh please, we also need your bank's IFSC number. I practically own the bank. Sir is joking. No, i am not, i also destroy people for breakfast. We are a nationalised bank, Sir, you cannot own it. Sound of gnashing teeth.
...And we cannot transfer money without the Swift code, RBI rules, Sir. But i need the money transferred now, this moment, like they show in the movies. Move it. Pronto. Like yesterday.
We cannot do that, Sir, we are bound by rules and we also need to inform you Sir that we have a new offer for valued clients, if you invest in our `Savdhan' scheme you will get 7.5% annual interest and it is tax free and you get a platinum credit card and dinner for four in a five star restaurant but alcohol beverages are separate... There is a sobbing sound from the other side. Mr Willis is melting like ice cream in the sun.
And we also have a holiday home option where you engage in time sharing...Stop,stop, stop... How long will it take to get my money? Have you filled in form B22 and attached a copy of your returns plus two copies of an affidavit signed by a gazetted officer showing you are a citizen of the country and four photos with a white background?
Over the line there is a sound of a pistol shot. The don is dead. Do you blame Mr Willis?
