Jun 23 2015 : The Economic Times (Delhi)
ET By Invite - Smart, Successful and Still Not Happy? Here's Why
RAJ RAGHUNATHAN
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Why aren't smart and successful people as happy as they could or should be?
Findings from several studies show there is, indeed, very little correlation between either smartness or success and happiness.For example, there is little correlation between education or intelligence (IQ) and happiness. Likewise, findings also show that, beyond a certain point, there's little correlation between material success and happiness. This is surprising because the smart and successful (s-and-s) are, by definition, better at achieving important goals. As such, given that happiness is one of our most important goals, one would think the s-and-s would be significantly happier than the rest of us.So, why are the s-and-s not happier than their not-so-smart-or-successful counterparts? As an increasing number of Indians become better educated and wealthier, this question is gaining greater prominence.
One explanation is that the very things that make one smart and successful come in the way of one's happiness. For example, the superior intelligence that characterises smart people makes them more aware of the meaninglessness (in the ultimate analysis) of their strivings. Likewise, the drive for achievement that characterises successful people makes them dissatisfied with their achievements. Another explanation that also accounts for the unhappiness of the sand-s is that the things that lead to smartness and success are different from those that lead to happiness. While the s-and-s may have figured out the determinants of smartness and success, they are just as clueless as the rest of us when it comes to the true determinants of happiness.
This raises the question: What are the true determinants of happiness?
The answer, in brief, is this. It turns out that beyond the satisfaction of basic necessities (food, clothing, shelter), we need three things to be happy . First, we need to feel that we are very good at something (dancing, painting, teaching, etc). Let's call this the need for mastery . Second, we need to feel a sense of intimacy or connection with at least one other person. Let's call this belongingness. And finally , we need to feel that we have the freedom to make our own decisions; that is, we need to feel that we aren't under others' control. Let's call this autonomy .
A lot of research, particularly in an area called self-determination theory , has confirmed the importance of all three goals for happiness, and most of us, at one level or another, appear to realise this. However, the mistake we make -and in this, the s-and-s are just as guilty as the rest of us -lies in the approach we take to fulfill these goals. We attempt to fulfill mastery through seeking superiority over others, which leads us to engage in social comparisons -on talent, wealth, beauty , etc. Comparing oneself with others, findings show, is a recipe for misery .Likewise, we attempt to fulfill belongingness through the need to be loved. Being too desirous of others' love too, findings show, lowers happiness levels. Finally , we attempt to fulfill autonomy through the seeking control over others or over outcomes. Once again, findings show that, although seeking control can enhance success and boost self-esteem, being overly control seeking lowers happiness.
As it turns out, there is another approach to seeking mastery, belongingness and autonomy that doesn't come in the way of happiness. This approach involves seeking mastery through the pursuit of passion, seeking belongingness through the need to love, and seeking autonomy through the need for internal control. In brief, pursuit of passion involves according greater weight to the things that we enjoy doing, than to things that bring us extrinsic rewards like money, fame, or power.
The need to love is self-explanatory; it involves being kind and compassionate.What's not so obvious about this need is that it's potentially a bigger determinant of happiness than any other need. (Findings show that we feel happier when we spend money on others than when we spend it on our selves.) Finally, the need for internal control has to do with gaining, what may be called, “personal mastery“ -mastery over one's own mind and feelings. When one has gained sufficient internal control, the desire for external control -control over others and over the external environment -becomes less pronounced and hence, one is less likely to be overly controlling of others or of the external environment.
Many people can intuitively see how pursuing passion, the need to love and internal control can enhance happiness levels. What they can't see as easily is that they are also a more reliable determinant of success. That is, not only are you likely to be happier, but you are also more likely to succeed -even in terms of extrinsic yardsticks like wealth, power or fame -if you pursue passion, seek the need to love and seek internal control than if you pursue superiority , seek the need to be loved and seek the need for external control.
Why? Because, in a nutshell, while the selfcenteredness and the “us versus them“ world view that fuels the pursuit of superiority , the need to be loved and the need for external control can come in handy when life is in danger or when we are engaged in mechanical tasks, they hinder success in the type of intellectual jobs you and I have, that involve creativity and team work. In intellectual jobs, findings show we are much more likely to succeed when we pursue passion (see `Drive' by Dan Pink), seek the need to love and give (`Give and Take' by Adam Grant), and have internal control (`Search Inside Yourself ' by Chade Meng Tan).The writer is professor of marketing at the McCombs School of Business, The University of Texas at Austin and visiting professor of marketing at the Indian School of Business
Findings from several studies show there is, indeed, very little correlation between either smartness or success and happiness.For example, there is little correlation between education or intelligence (IQ) and happiness. Likewise, findings also show that, beyond a certain point, there's little correlation between material success and happiness. This is surprising because the smart and successful (s-and-s) are, by definition, better at achieving important goals. As such, given that happiness is one of our most important goals, one would think the s-and-s would be significantly happier than the rest of us.So, why are the s-and-s not happier than their not-so-smart-or-successful counterparts? As an increasing number of Indians become better educated and wealthier, this question is gaining greater prominence.
One explanation is that the very things that make one smart and successful come in the way of one's happiness. For example, the superior intelligence that characterises smart people makes them more aware of the meaninglessness (in the ultimate analysis) of their strivings. Likewise, the drive for achievement that characterises successful people makes them dissatisfied with their achievements. Another explanation that also accounts for the unhappiness of the sand-s is that the things that lead to smartness and success are different from those that lead to happiness. While the s-and-s may have figured out the determinants of smartness and success, they are just as clueless as the rest of us when it comes to the true determinants of happiness.
This raises the question: What are the true determinants of happiness?
The answer, in brief, is this. It turns out that beyond the satisfaction of basic necessities (food, clothing, shelter), we need three things to be happy . First, we need to feel that we are very good at something (dancing, painting, teaching, etc). Let's call this the need for mastery . Second, we need to feel a sense of intimacy or connection with at least one other person. Let's call this belongingness. And finally , we need to feel that we have the freedom to make our own decisions; that is, we need to feel that we aren't under others' control. Let's call this autonomy .
A lot of research, particularly in an area called self-determination theory , has confirmed the importance of all three goals for happiness, and most of us, at one level or another, appear to realise this. However, the mistake we make -and in this, the s-and-s are just as guilty as the rest of us -lies in the approach we take to fulfill these goals. We attempt to fulfill mastery through seeking superiority over others, which leads us to engage in social comparisons -on talent, wealth, beauty , etc. Comparing oneself with others, findings show, is a recipe for misery .Likewise, we attempt to fulfill belongingness through the need to be loved. Being too desirous of others' love too, findings show, lowers happiness levels. Finally , we attempt to fulfill autonomy through the seeking control over others or over outcomes. Once again, findings show that, although seeking control can enhance success and boost self-esteem, being overly control seeking lowers happiness.
As it turns out, there is another approach to seeking mastery, belongingness and autonomy that doesn't come in the way of happiness. This approach involves seeking mastery through the pursuit of passion, seeking belongingness through the need to love, and seeking autonomy through the need for internal control. In brief, pursuit of passion involves according greater weight to the things that we enjoy doing, than to things that bring us extrinsic rewards like money, fame, or power.
The need to love is self-explanatory; it involves being kind and compassionate.What's not so obvious about this need is that it's potentially a bigger determinant of happiness than any other need. (Findings show that we feel happier when we spend money on others than when we spend it on our selves.) Finally, the need for internal control has to do with gaining, what may be called, “personal mastery“ -mastery over one's own mind and feelings. When one has gained sufficient internal control, the desire for external control -control over others and over the external environment -becomes less pronounced and hence, one is less likely to be overly controlling of others or of the external environment.
Many people can intuitively see how pursuing passion, the need to love and internal control can enhance happiness levels. What they can't see as easily is that they are also a more reliable determinant of success. That is, not only are you likely to be happier, but you are also more likely to succeed -even in terms of extrinsic yardsticks like wealth, power or fame -if you pursue passion, seek the need to love and seek internal control than if you pursue superiority , seek the need to be loved and seek the need for external control.
Why? Because, in a nutshell, while the selfcenteredness and the “us versus them“ world view that fuels the pursuit of superiority , the need to be loved and the need for external control can come in handy when life is in danger or when we are engaged in mechanical tasks, they hinder success in the type of intellectual jobs you and I have, that involve creativity and team work. In intellectual jobs, findings show we are much more likely to succeed when we pursue passion (see `Drive' by Dan Pink), seek the need to love and give (`Give and Take' by Adam Grant), and have internal control (`Search Inside Yourself ' by Chade Meng Tan).The writer is professor of marketing at the McCombs School of Business, The University of Texas at Austin and visiting professor of marketing at the Indian School of Business
