the speaking tree - Art Of Parenting To Bridge The Generation Gap
Swami Parthasarathy
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Parents have a difficult time relating to their children. They bitterly complain about `their independent and impertinent behaviour'. That they have gone out of control and stopped relating to them. Almost all parents point their finger at the young and see no fault of their own. Little do they realise that the problem of relationship invariably emanates from parents, from their clinging attachment and possessiveness towards the children.In the absence of the intellect the constant emotional pressures exerted by them virtually strangulate the young.The first step to straighten relations is for the parents to realise their inherent weakness and make a careful study of the psychological traits of their children.
Children are born with the capacity to absorb knowledge from the external world. It is called udana in Sanskrit, the power of grasping fresh knowledge which is optimum at birth. It diminishes with age. And when a person reaches old age it practically disappears. That explains why youngsters absorb ideas and ideologies, trends and fashions faster while the elderly take much longer to do so. The disparity in time for such absorption is being called as a generation gap. Hence the older generation perceive the world differently from the young. This disparity leads to argument and altercation, confrontation and conflict between parents and their children. If only either one understands that the other helplessly manifests his own nature then there would be greater tolerance, understanding and harmony . But the problem people face everywhere is the lack of such understanding on both sides which has strained or practically destroyed parent-child relationship stroyed parent-child relationship.Boundless Energy Children possess extraordinary energy whereas the elderly do not. They are prone to becoming tired and they try to combat it with stimulants, weekend breaks and vacations. The reason for this contrast is the absence of worry and anxiety in children, while adults are plagued with worries of the past and anxieties for the future.
In their desperation to exercise control over the children's tireless activ ities parents suffocate them with incessant restrictions.
The solution lies not in stifling them but in studying their nat ural tendencies and giving di rection to their energy . Hence adults need knowledge of high er values of life and practise them. By living those values and educating the children, parents can help children's energies flow in the right direction instead of stifling them. This procedure is very similar to preventing road accidents. There are two ways of avoiding accidents. One way, which is no way, is to reduce the speed limit of vehicles to a ridiculously low level. The other, sensible way, is to provide drivers with proper road sense by educating them with traffic rules and regulations. So too, youngsters should be provided with value education rather than being showered with dos and don'ts.
The general trend in the world is that parents fail to set examples of right living but merely pester their children with ill-founded advices. To set the relationship right they will have to live the life they wish their young to follow and avoid giving them sermons. US President Abraham Lincoln had put this idea across succinctly . He said: “There is just one way to bring up a child in the way he should go and that is to travel that way yourself.“
Therefore it is incumbent upon parents to set the standards through right examples for their children to follow.Only then can there be less conflict and there is a good possibility of bridging the so-called generation gap.
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Children are born with the capacity to absorb knowledge from the external world. It is called udana in Sanskrit, the power of grasping fresh knowledge which is optimum at birth. It diminishes with age. And when a person reaches old age it practically disappears. That explains why youngsters absorb ideas and ideologies, trends and fashions faster while the elderly take much longer to do so. The disparity in time for such absorption is being called as a generation gap. Hence the older generation perceive the world differently from the young. This disparity leads to argument and altercation, confrontation and conflict between parents and their children. If only either one understands that the other helplessly manifests his own nature then there would be greater tolerance, understanding and harmony . But the problem people face everywhere is the lack of such understanding on both sides which has strained or practically destroyed parent-child relationship stroyed parent-child relationship.Boundless Energy Children possess extraordinary energy whereas the elderly do not. They are prone to becoming tired and they try to combat it with stimulants, weekend breaks and vacations. The reason for this contrast is the absence of worry and anxiety in children, while adults are plagued with worries of the past and anxieties for the future.
In their desperation to exercise control over the children's tireless activ ities parents suffocate them with incessant restrictions.
The solution lies not in stifling them but in studying their nat ural tendencies and giving di rection to their energy . Hence adults need knowledge of high er values of life and practise them. By living those values and educating the children, parents can help children's energies flow in the right direction instead of stifling them. This procedure is very similar to preventing road accidents. There are two ways of avoiding accidents. One way, which is no way, is to reduce the speed limit of vehicles to a ridiculously low level. The other, sensible way, is to provide drivers with proper road sense by educating them with traffic rules and regulations. So too, youngsters should be provided with value education rather than being showered with dos and don'ts.
The general trend in the world is that parents fail to set examples of right living but merely pester their children with ill-founded advices. To set the relationship right they will have to live the life they wish their young to follow and avoid giving them sermons. US President Abraham Lincoln had put this idea across succinctly . He said: “There is just one way to bring up a child in the way he should go and that is to travel that way yourself.“
Therefore it is incumbent upon parents to set the standards through right examples for their children to follow.Only then can there be less conflict and there is a good possibility of bridging the so-called generation gap.
Post your comments at speakingtree.in
