the speaking tree - Isolation As The Cause Of Conflict
Satsang: Swami Sukhabodhananda
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Should we live by logic or by emotion?
Life should be filled with feelings and feelings have their own sense. Logic alone will not suffice. The heart of education is education of the heart. Put your heart in what you do, be it at office or home. When you apply only logic, then it becomes stupid.One should be emotionally fit, and that emotion should be directed by intellect. Intellect without emotion and emotion without intellect; both are incomplete.
Everyone knows that life is impermanent, but when death happens they feel cheated. Why it is so?
One knows intellectually that life is impermanent, but the emotion is still hooked on to illusion and expects life to be permanent. So, apart from intellectually knowing, one has to know emotionally also.
What shall i do then to my emotion?
Whatever you do, learn to know through feelings. For example, you are looking at a flower; you feel the flower, try to touch it emotionally .Look at the flower through 100 eyes as it were. Then, you will find there is a kind of exchange which happens between you and the flower.You will feel the flower is seeing you, you will know through your heart how the flower is contributing to you through its fragrance and appearance. You will learn to understand the flower other than through the mind. Even when eating an apple, feel the apple through your touch, through your eyes, through smell and with feeling eat the apple and you will see how the apple is contributing to you.
Can you do your work in this space? Can you relate to your wife, husband or boss in this way?
Learn to know through your feelings also. Then work becomes joy; work becomes a holiday . You don't need a holiday to enjoy your life, work becomes a movement of joy and hence a holiday , a restful day and spiritual vacation.
My wife and i quarrel a lot. Should i leave her, for it is not leading me anywhere?
Look impassively . Observe deeply . By leaving her, you continue to keep the same mind which has the conflict. It is like despite wearing clean socks, moving around with dirty socks in your pocket. Every place you go to or visit will stink. This stink is not because of the place but because of your dirty socks. So the cause for the conflict is not your wife but your mind. Your mind has not learnt to deal with your wife.
Have you seen a surf rider? He knows that the oncoming wave is dangerous. Still he is flirting with it.The surf rider knows how to deal deftly with the wave and have fun. Any difficulty is like a big wave. You should know how to deal with it. So the cause for conflict is your mind.When the mind is using the other for joy, there is a process of isolation which happens. When one uses the other, then “i“ becomes more valuable than “other“, and the same happens to your partner. Each one is using the other for meeting one's end, and this creates isolation. Any isolation is the cause for conflict. Connectivity is the way out. Love brings in connectivity and ego brings in isolation.
Life should be filled with feelings and feelings have their own sense. Logic alone will not suffice. The heart of education is education of the heart. Put your heart in what you do, be it at office or home. When you apply only logic, then it becomes stupid.One should be emotionally fit, and that emotion should be directed by intellect. Intellect without emotion and emotion without intellect; both are incomplete.
Everyone knows that life is impermanent, but when death happens they feel cheated. Why it is so?
One knows intellectually that life is impermanent, but the emotion is still hooked on to illusion and expects life to be permanent. So, apart from intellectually knowing, one has to know emotionally also.
What shall i do then to my emotion?
Whatever you do, learn to know through feelings. For example, you are looking at a flower; you feel the flower, try to touch it emotionally .Look at the flower through 100 eyes as it were. Then, you will find there is a kind of exchange which happens between you and the flower.You will feel the flower is seeing you, you will know through your heart how the flower is contributing to you through its fragrance and appearance. You will learn to understand the flower other than through the mind. Even when eating an apple, feel the apple through your touch, through your eyes, through smell and with feeling eat the apple and you will see how the apple is contributing to you.
Can you do your work in this space? Can you relate to your wife, husband or boss in this way?
Learn to know through your feelings also. Then work becomes joy; work becomes a holiday . You don't need a holiday to enjoy your life, work becomes a movement of joy and hence a holiday , a restful day and spiritual vacation.
My wife and i quarrel a lot. Should i leave her, for it is not leading me anywhere?
Look impassively . Observe deeply . By leaving her, you continue to keep the same mind which has the conflict. It is like despite wearing clean socks, moving around with dirty socks in your pocket. Every place you go to or visit will stink. This stink is not because of the place but because of your dirty socks. So the cause for the conflict is not your wife but your mind. Your mind has not learnt to deal with your wife.
Have you seen a surf rider? He knows that the oncoming wave is dangerous. Still he is flirting with it.The surf rider knows how to deal deftly with the wave and have fun. Any difficulty is like a big wave. You should know how to deal with it. So the cause for conflict is your mind.When the mind is using the other for joy, there is a process of isolation which happens. When one uses the other, then “i“ becomes more valuable than “other“, and the same happens to your partner. Each one is using the other for meeting one's end, and this creates isolation. Any isolation is the cause for conflict. Connectivity is the way out. Love brings in connectivity and ego brings in isolation.
