That volcano within
What does one do with anger? How does one subdue, express and deflect it?
On a delayed train, passengers were talking to one another about their lives and problems. “There have been at least four people in my life whom I’d like to have shot but didn’t,” said a government officer who was being harassed by a local mafia in a small town. The rest of us stared nervously at him. Had we been so tested?
Who among us has not felt rage burning through the scalp and exploding into words? Quite often it is impossible to stop the hot words that rise to our lips. That’s just it. At some point we cannot control anger. It controls us. When face to face with planned dishonesty, blatant injustice or repeated meanness it makes us long to respond violently. The moral compass deep within us will not let us rest.
Fear and fury
“Put that down now or I’ll hit you!” That is a different kind of fury isn’t it? Fear plumes into hysterical anger in a parent instructing a child who innocently picks up something dangerous. One of the instincts that causes this fountain of anger is surely a feeling of helplessness and the need for urgent action. As reactions spin out of control all the primal instincts come rushing out and disturb our carefully arranged social faces.
“Put that down now or I’ll hit you!” That is a different kind of fury isn’t it? Fear plumes into hysterical anger in a parent instructing a child who innocently picks up something dangerous. One of the instincts that causes this fountain of anger is surely a feeling of helplessness and the need for urgent action. As reactions spin out of control all the primal instincts come rushing out and disturb our carefully arranged social faces.
Well — it is normal to feel angry. No human, be she a saint or he a rishi, can avoid the rise of anger in the mind. However, unless one’s life is in danger or the environment is one of war, it is abnormal to act violently. The point is what one does with that anger — how does one subdue, express, deflect it, for the good of others and oneself? Most of us also know that anything that is long suppressed has a tendency to either burst forth or dig into us like an acid, causing ill-health and loss of stability. Listen to what William Blake said 200 years ago:
I was angry with my friend;
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.
Yes. Anger has to be tackled either by tackling the person or situation which is causing it or by sorting it out within yourself because you see that there is no shortcut solution. It is an emotion no one can afford to give in to because it clouds judgment and quickly builds roads to mistakes from which we may never recover.
Unless we learn to recognise the forces that lead to conflict both within and without, and hit the brakes on them before they grow into uncontrollable monsters, they will simply take over. Remember this … angry people forget themselves, parents injure children, cars and bikes on the road run amuck and a helpless colleague might lose his or her job if a superior who has the power to use it, misuses the same in a fit of anger. The Bhagavad Gita links kama (desire) and krodha (anger) and condemns these in the strongest terms — a madness which leads on to self-destruction but not before you’ve destroyed others. In the end the damage is permanent. One of my favourite sayings is, “The boneless tongue is sharper than a knife.”
Kinds of anger
All right. Let us widen this circle of thought to include another type of anger. It is impersonal. It concerns what happens to others. It comes from a sense of outrage. It is the anger when one’s bus or train is late; when a stranger is needlessly and cruelly rude in a queue or makes obscene gestures at your friend or sister. Can you, as you go about your day, think about three kinds of anger listed below?
All right. Let us widen this circle of thought to include another type of anger. It is impersonal. It concerns what happens to others. It comes from a sense of outrage. It is the anger when one’s bus or train is late; when a stranger is needlessly and cruelly rude in a queue or makes obscene gestures at your friend or sister. Can you, as you go about your day, think about three kinds of anger listed below?
Anger against authorities — thoughtless or outdated rules
Anger against an equal at work, or fellow student — someone who seems to enjoy putting another in a difficult position
Anger against a member of family — someone who is continuously critical of you or your parents.
Anger is a reaction to a situation but when it is expressed as action, it becomes the cause for something else. Anger-driven action, if emotional and impulsive, can be very harmful (to all concerned). Anger tempered by thought and a sense of fairness should also be carefully considered because cold preparation could lack compassion.
If something unethical or annoying makes you furious, the action arising out of that feeling still needs to be ethical and based on a moral decision and not thoughtless explosions.
A question to ask yourself
Are there some people who cannot afford to display their anger no matter how enraged they might be? Who are they?
Are there some people who cannot afford to display their anger no matter how enraged they might be? Who are they?
Suggested reading
What can you do about negative emotions within and around you?
What can you do about negative emotions within and around you?
by Mariamne Paulus (available on the Internet)
Email: minioup@gmail.com
Keywords: Ethics and you, anger management
Source: The Hindu, 30-10-2015
